Those who look but do not see & listen but do not hear!

I look back at the person I used to be & cannot identify. I look at my ideals, my thoughts, hopes and aspirations and realize that they were deformed and greatly lacking. The words I spoke revealed a deeper truth about the lies I believed. The conviction revealed skeletons I did not even know existed.

When you live your entire life far removed from your true north & rediscover this north not by use of a compass but sheer luck & I guess stars aligning. The naivity, the sheer belief that everything is good & well, the inability to read between the lines and extract meaning from what seems like empty space.

I weep & empathize not with the blind and deaf, but with those who look but do not see and listen but do not hear!

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Each of us has an inner guide that is masked, tainted, tattered and sometimes beaten by ideas of what is and what should be. When this inner guide is  grasping for air & on the brink of death, we feel discomfort & unease. When it is growing & flourishing we feel discomfort & unease because we see and feel and understand that what is contradicts what should be.

My ignorance & lack of understanding creates an opportunity for a worthy cause. A cause that is painful, heart breaking, confusing and meaningful. I got asked a few years ago "what breaks your heart?". At the time I had no honest way of responding. What I thought broke my heart merely made me sad or "bummed" me out but inspired no real, uncomfortable feelings. I cannot and should not prescribe anything to you, but if I am to offer some advice I would say this:

1. Know and understand what breaks your heart. What fills you with emotion (real human emotion) and keeps you up at night?

2. Once you know what breaks your heart, you know what your purpose is. Go forth and pursue that doggedly.

You may not change the world but you can improve it......if that fails, you can at least stop hurting it.

Next time some asks me "Why are you here?" I hope the answer will remain:

"To make a difference. To transform something that sucks. To create that which transforms. To build that which counts. To experience what’s true. To do stuff that matters."

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